Change Can Be a Wonderful Thing?
Verb.
Change, alter, vary, modify mean to make or become different.
Change can be exciting, welcomed and something that is wonderful. For me… change is scary (I imagine many others may feel the same).
Eve Ellison - Arts Practitioner
When I first started TramShed, I started as a volunteer in January 2018. I dragged my close friends along with me for support. I was very nervous, but I instantly fell in love with TramShed; I felt I was somewhere I belonged. When an Arts Practitioner position came up in January 2019, I jumped at the chance and after having an interview, (on my birthday!!), I received a phone call from Zac the following day, asking me to be part of the team. I think I snatched Zac’s hand off and got off the phone as quick as possible, before he could change his mind! It was about one month later, in the February, when I first started delivering. This change was very exciting but also… I was a nervous wreck!! For those who know me well, I am not the most confident person. As weeks went by, with the ongoing support from my team, my confidence started to grow. However, I always knew that if I was struggling, I could look across the room and something as little as a smile from one of my team members would make me feel more at ease. I knew they were always there to catch me if I fall and because of that support I was just starting to find my feet.
Then COVID-19 happened.
I remember our last face to face workshop as if it was yesterday. Zac pulled the team in the meeting room, one by one, and broke the news that we all knew would eventually come. Face to face workshops would be stopping! This change was devastating, for many, many reasons. From then on Monday and Tuesday nights were never the same. It was very strange and really hard to get used to. I missed seeing my TramShed family, I missed the laughs, I missed my main creative outlet (I am a very creative person, so this is important to me). Most of all, I missed getting to see my very cheeky little brother and sister on a weekly basis (they both attended Children’s Theatre at the time). This change was not a nice change, and it certainly wasn’t a welcome change. Many thoughts came to mind… When could we go back to work? Will it all be the same? What will this break mean for TramShed as a charity? It was a very worrying time.
The days all kind of rolled into one after that, as I imagine it did for many others. Lockdown was a big change we all had to deal with. Zac contacted the team and called in a Zoom meeting. I attended the meeting where Zac had some fantastic news that due funding provided by the Arts Council England, we could deliver online workshops. I thought… “brilliant!!” Then the more I listened to how we would be planning and delivering our own sessions, how we would be recording and putting together our own tutorials, etc… It was safe to say I wanted the ground to swallow me whole!! This was the MOST scariest change. I was only just finding my feet with co-delivery and now I was being asked to plan and deliver sessions all by myself. Not only that, I was having to come up with new and different content every week for sessions AND tutorials. This was a huge challenge for me as a new Arts Practitioner. I thought, “I wouldn’t have my team there to catch me.” (Of course I would, there was always someone there as admin and they wouldn’t have let me drown but my thoughts were being very dramatic!). I was thinking… “no way, I canNOT do this!” But, as the weeks went on, the ideas kept flowing and delivery got easier and easier. I became more confident and I absolutely loved having such an amazing creative outlet. Now I think back and think what was all the fuss about, it’s just second nature now. I have been able to do many things I didn’t think I would do; I loved helping direct and perform in our first online show, I have written my own script/poem for our short stories project (something I said I would never do), and my favourite, I deliver weekly creative sign language sessions!!
I guess I am telling you all this because I want to say… although change is scary, change can be wonderful too. Change gets easier and it can help you grow as a person. This change has helped me grow as a Practitioner and I cannot thank my team and the members enough for their support. Also, I want to say… keep on going, keep on trying and keep on being you!!
The next change… returning to face to face workshops. I am ready and raring to bring on this change!!
#apartofbeingapart
Eve Ellison
Arts Practitioner